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I was terrified of what she would have done to me and that was my only concern. I'm kicking myself. That was our best chance. After that, we danced around feelings lookign I doubt you ever could fully trust me.

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I have been learning to wield my powers with more caution, but I'm very far. You see I had a bad experience when I was younger and I think I shut off. I decided that I was never going to understand the relationship between man and woman and so I shut that part of my brain.

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Please find it in your heart to believe me. I have no reason to lie.

I'm not wanting anything from you except for your forgiveness. Please forgive my inadequacy. I was resentful for so long that Ive hurt myself more than anyone else ever did.

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When I saw you at the trax. I was completely overwhelmed and frozen with fear. A remnant of a past fear that I can't quite forget and in part because my mind boggles and falters that you would ever love me. I want to go. To that first morning. I want to have done it completely differently. Even if it didn't work out for us Although, What if it would have been wonderful?

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