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This year, I spoke with thousands of girls around the country about friendship and bullying.
After the school assemblies and workshops, these students, who ranged from age 8 to 17, clustered around me looking for advice about their friendship woes. The questions seem different fkrget first, conocer hombres gay they point to two closely related skills many parents neglect to teach their girls: To the contrary: This is a good thing.
We typically speak up in relationships to right a wrong. Friends let us. They forget to ask about us or text us.
They do stupid things. Yet I encounter many girls and parents who are easily angered by the missteps of friends — and who suggest to girls, with little provocation, that every wrong must be made right.
Reacting to every date blondes or let down is neither realistic nor fair; it sends the message that we expect the other person to be flawless in relationship. But no one is perfect, and no one relationship can ever meet all our needs. Teaching girls to agitate over every problem implies that relationships, and people, can bend to our.
In fact, girls need to learn that there will always be situations that are beyond our control. Sometimes true girl power means accepting that we are actually vulnerable, and even powerless — then figuring out how to adapt and have our needs met in other ways.
That is the stuff of true resilience, a vital protective factor teens friwnd increasingly struggled with in the United States.
Persistent ypu gives girls a reputation for being too demanding of. And when girls are hard on their peers, it hints at similarly ruthless expectations of themselves.
If parents encourage a girl to be more flexible with others, it may mew help her learn to be more compassionate with. Learning to price of sex in thailand disappointment without always acting on it, and allowing someone to fall short of expectation, teaches a skill that can serve makee in every area of life.
Instead of pushing girls to pour themselves into situations not worthy of their energy and time, parents can ask some of these questions:.
What might your relationship gain by talking together about this problem? What might your relationship lose? On balance, do you get more than you lose in this relationship?
When a girl owes an apology — instead hhen seeks one — the same idea applies: Girls are passionate about their friendships, and the loss of a close friend can be heartbreaking.
Parents must empathize first, and allow their daughters to grieve.Finding The Right Girl In Waukesha Wisconsin
When the time is right, parents can also help girls keep in mind the big picture lessons these tricky friendship situations can teach. She is co-founder of Girls Leadership and develops leadership programs for Smith College. Follow her on Twitter racheljsimmons. Contact us at editors time.
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