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It was a confession by a newlywed friend about her disastrous sex life that gave Umm Muladhat an idea for a groundbreaking book.
The author has chosen to stay anonymous, using an alias. Candid advice is offered on everything from kissing to cowgirl positions — with the core message being that Muslim women can and should enjoy a varied sex life and take the lead in physical relationships.
While some critics have accused the author of fetishising Muslim women and encouraging promiscuity, the book has been welcomed by readers who have lauded her as a Muslim Belle De Jourbringing a taboo subject into the open. I doubt any mother speaks in as explicit detail as I have.
Talking about sex in Islam is not new, and past scholars highlighted the importance of sexual pleasure for women, which included advice for men to ensure this happens. I suspect the problem is much bigger, as most would feel too embarrassed to talk about it.
Muladhat said she felt compelled to write the book after she discovered women were entering into a lifelong commitment with little knowledge about sex other than snippets gleaned from the back of guides to marriage, with an emphasis on what was forbidden, rather than what was allowed, and with little from the perspective of women.
For those in the west, certain things permeate through osmosis, so women have heard about BDSM and doggy style, but only in a vague sense.
Muladhat also found that confusion about what sex acts were permissible in Islam was inhibiting women from experimenting in the bedroom. After holding informal workshops, she set up a website to ascertain interest in a book.
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Such was the response, that Muladhat is already considering a follow-up, after being inundated with s from men also looking for advice. By separating my real self from the book, people are forced to deal with the content.
What she will reveal, though, is that she is an American-born psychology graduate and much of the book is based on her personal experience of keeping the spark alive within her own marriage, along with tips picked up from friends and old copies of Cosmopolitan. The Observer Women.
This article is more than 3 years old. Many Muslim women enter into a life-long commitment with little knowledge of sex. Alia Waheed. Sun 16 Jul Reuse this content.